Metro is trying a pilot program to install ultra high-tech Schmidt Centers in select Metro stations

Now THAT'S What I Call Progress

I live in DC. While I'd say we've got a pretty good, pretty clean Metrorail system that gets you just about anywhere you'd need to go, there's just one problem. No Schmidt Centers. You know what I'm talking about...you've got to get from Woodley Park to Pentagon City, and that double espresso is working its ugly dark magic on your digestive tract...and you've got to Schmidt pretty badly. You have to take a wicked Schmidt. Only you're just going to have to go into Bowel Clench for the next 25 minutes, because Metro has no publicly-available restrooms (they do have restrooms, but you have to basically humiliate yourself to the booth guard in order to get them to let you use them, and even then they're under no obligation to do so).

But now there's hope.

According to this article in the Washington Post today, Metro is trying a pilot program to install ultra high-tech Schmidt Centers in select Metro stations. You GOTTA check these babies out...self-cleaning, heated tile floors, tons of sudden, violent moving parts...

It's funny to read that they are hoping this will increase ridership, but it's true. If this is as good as it sounds from the article, I'm going to have to start drinking milk again. Yep, a lactose-intolerance joke -- put that in your pipe and smoke it